so, today was the last day of my "American West" seminar and of course the last question for the course was "what is the american west?  is there such a thing?"  lots of people concluded that the american west as we know it (i.e. images of cowboys and the frontier) is a myth and something that doesn't exist today.  others thought the west still lives on today, but in a different form (see: silicon valley, los angeles).

i don't think the american west ever went away because it's a state of mind; not a place.  what's that state of mind?  striving for the freedom to be independent and free from external constraints.  putting it more negatively, the american west means living on the fringe.  now, at the time when there was a physical west, the fringe was a lot bigger--half the north american continent.  people could move out there to pursue the western ideal of freedom and individuality.  but, as manifest destiny chugged along and there was less and less physical fringe in america and as the external constraints (i.e. formalized government, societal norms, etc) devoured areas for free thinking, the new "fringe" is a state of mind.  i think that's why a lot of the western-themed novels we read this semester included characters who were mentally ill.  at least, they were mentally ill by our standards.  put objectively, they were just individuals who refused to or couldn't conform to societal expectations. but, at the end of the day, most were still free thinkers and and still strove for individuality and freedom, albeit with less success than those in the 19th century west.

not sure if that made sense, but just throwing it out there.

kento

"complacent career student."

my people are the shit.  behold, the original voltron opening:



peace,
kento

"she want it."

so, spike is shoving all six episodes of star wars down our throats this month.  and, as part of that, i got to watch "return of the jedi" tonight.  i didn't realize that it's a pretty good straight-up action movie (yes, everyone knows "empire strikes back" is the best of the original trilogy).  anyway, there i am enjoying myself when all of a sudden we get to the last scene, the part where ghost anakin, yoda, and obi wan are getting down at the party.  now, in the original "jedi," ghost anakin was some old guy (the person you see when luke takes off vader's mask at the end).  but, in the version i just say hayden christiansen is fucking ghost anakin!!!  wtf!?!!?!?!  how can you fuck with a classic moment like that?  jeeeeeeeeeeeez. 

in other news, had a fun-filled time at our 80s party this past weekend.  nothing beats dressing like it's 1985.  nothing but dressing like it's 1995.  how comes there's no 90's parties yet?  wanna know why?  because, ultimately, the 80s lacked substance and soul so is easily replicated.  the 90s?  had its own soul and sense of being.  you can't replicate that shit.  so why try?

kento

p.s.  i was thinking this, how the fuck do couples get "their song?"  does the song have to come on at a certain point?  like during a significant kiss or romp on the beach?  or can you get together and agree to have one song be "your" song?  if i had to choose a song, i think it'd be something ridiculous like the star wars anthem.  not classically romantic, but wouldn't that be neat to hear at your wedding? 

well, probably not.  at all.

"ooooh, baby, i love your way.  i wanna be with you night and day."

so, roommates and i are booked up for vegas in may after finals.  one last hurrah before two months of sadness.  i just watched the video for lil wayne's "lolipop," and i've taken copious notes in an effort to mimic his pimp ways in the city of sin.  although i'm not flush with cash; i've got oodles of panache.  so, bring it all.

and now, back to your regularly scheduled internet browsing.

kento

p.s.  friday is the school's spring fling.  basically, one last school-related dance before entering the ranks of the working.  i'm actually really looking forward to it.  and, seeing as it's an 80's theme, i will be dressed up.  i'm thinking perhaps as skippy from "family ties." 

"i bet we been together for a million years."

it's officially spring.  been that way for 12 days now.  and, as they say, love is in the air.  or, i think it is.  i can't think of another reason why i've been flustered about girls the past few days.  maybe it's my biological clock.  do guys have one?  in any case, here's a letter that's been sitting in a drawer for a very long time (or, a version of it, highly edited to remain anonymous):

dear so-and-so,

i've never been much of a good writer, but i couldn't think of any other way to tell you what i'm feeling other than through pen and paper.  so, here goes nothing (or everything, really).

we've been friends for a while, but i'll tell you a secret--i've been completely into you since the first day i met you.  i can remember that day, a brisk, sunny day in august.  i was in some kind or other of meeting.  i can't remember the details, but i can remember seeing you walk in and time suddenly standing still.  nothing else mattered at that moment, really.  all i could think about was the most beautiful girl i'd ever seen walking into this small room in a nameless, faceless building in san francisco.  a girl with the most incredible smile.  with the most captivating laugh.  and, with the deepest eyes i'd ever seen.  i think you caught me staring, but i couldn't help it.  i was sprung, as the cool kids say.  hit by that ever-elusive lightning bolt.

fast-forward to the present.

although i'm not tongue-tied anymore when i talk to you, i can't help but feel woozy and lightheaded whenever you're near.  and, i still get lost in those eyes.  those eyes that can laugh and cry in the same moment.  those eyes that make me smile inside.  that make me happy to know you.

anyway, my time in the city's almost over, so there's really no point in putting pen to paper, but i felt inspired today.  i guess things are complicated.  c'est la vie, right?  for one reason or another, it wouldn't be right for me to pursue you, but i just wanted you to know that every time i see you it brightens an otherwise dull day.  like a black-and-white film suddenly come to life in vibrant technocolor.  i try to keep the conversations going, but inevitably we have to part ways.  but in those few moments, time stops all over again.  i'm taken back to that very first day.  and, it's good to know that some things, some feelings, don't change.

yours,
kent

so yeah, i wrote that a while ago.  to who?  well, that's a secret (if you're my friend, you probably know anyway).  i was talking to a friend today and she said letters of the love variety are played out.  i guess there's something to be said for the spoken word, but i still value traditional pen and paper writings.  it's neat having tangible recordings of feelings.  because, what are feelings other than ephemeral mish-mashes?  and, if you simply speak them, they just vanish into the ether.  although, reading this thing over, it's pretty fucking creepy.

alright, time for bed.  long day of busy work tomorrow. 

kento

"the letter came back three days later--return to sender.  damn.